waiting

I’m still waiting for you.
I’ll always be waiting for you.
But the thing is
I’m starting to believe
you’ll never come for me.

Maybe I’m plain stupid.
Not good enough.
Never will be good enough.
Prying hope out of your contradicting words.
Always hoping.
Useless hoping?

Just cannot stop waiting.
I cannot give up.

I’m waiting.
Still waiting.
Will always be waiting
for you.

28/07/2013

Struck by lightning

Who are we?
Would we be the same if we walked on different roads,
if we had made different choices along the way?

What if I had told that person what was on my mind back then?
What if I hadn't let that one girl get to me, break me down?
What if he would've given us a chance?
What if I had chosen another major in college?
What if I was a better student?
Would things be different if I had been better at mathematics?
Could I be a better me?
Should I be?

Will I be rewarded when I work hard to bring about my dreams?
Does it even matter at all?
Do I matter?

We all think about it sometimes, don't we?

Now you ask me, where does this come from? Why go all 'dark side'?
I saw this movie called 'Struck by lightning'.
It's a Chris Colfer-movie and it's about this kid, Carson.
His mom ended up a mess, due to a marriage that went horribly wrong.
And he, he's just doing anything he can to make his dreams come true.
And at the end of the movie...
- sorry, spoilers here (but not really they show it to you at the beginning of the movie) -
... he gets struck by lightning.
(If you want to know what actually happens: watch the movie!)

So I guess the question isn't really 'Do I matter?' but 'Has me being me changed anything?'.
Say I'm gone tomorrow, will I have left my mark? Will I have made a difference?
Is there going to be one person, only one, whose life would be different if I hadn't been alive?




Whit that one to think about, I'm signing out.
xoxo

Salut Marseille

Hey guys,

It's been a while, I know, but it's really been a hectic time...
And it's far from over.

But... I've been to Marseille for a week. That's in France.
(For those who don't speak French: "Salut Marseille" is French for "Hello Marseille")

The main reason: school.
Half of the time we had to visit organisations related to my studies.
The rest of the time we were sort of free.

Visiting the islands on the coast of Marseille, conquer the village of Cézanne and climbing the mountains of 'Callelongue' to end with a magnificent view (the picture is my proof) were only a part of the adventure.

I truly had a great time with my friends.

love you all!

xoxo

Bright lights bigger city

the lights of the city, shining bright, behind me.
The darkness of the night envelloping me in the front.
It's ten o'clock and I'm standing on the beach.
To feel the sand underneed my feet and the water touch the tips of my toes,
the wind raging through my hair.
Only the sound of the waves, crashing on the shore.
Only some lonely lights of ships trespassing the blanket of darkness hat occupies my vision.

How would that feel? I wouldn't know because I can only feel part of it.
Also, my mind is too busy to actually enjoy the silence of the world at night.
Maybe I can kill it for a single moment, but then my shadow appears,
created by the city lights.
They call me back.

Some thoughts of mine when I was standing at the shoreline yesterday night.

What would be on your mind when you're standing where I stood?

What makes you perfect

Hello again,

It's been a while, for a change.
But we have over 10 000 hits. 10 200 something to be more precise.
And to celebrate I've got a special topic.

"Nobody is perfect. Neither am I"

What makes one perfect? Being beautiful? Being smart? Being strong? Being fast? Being all of that? Does that makes you perfect?

Honestly... I don't think so.
Being perfect to me implies being trustworthy, but also to trust the ones that care for you, to be nice, honest, loyal and respectful to other people, to have yourself in check, but also being able to admit when it's over your head. Never give up, and accept help when it's needed.

I guess it's in the little things.

Maybe you guys can tell me wether I'm forgetting thing.
Seems to happen a lot lately... the forgetting part.
The doctor says it's because I'm over-stressed... yay.

Anyways... for those who have fall break this week (not me, I'm at my internship)... have fun!

xoxo

second chances and trust issues

Hi guys.

I know I promised I'd shut up about this topic... but it's just really hard.
But on the other side, this one isn't about Jamie. This time around it's for a friend.
One of my very best friends is in trouble. He's not telling me why, but I can just imagine why it would be...

The fray sings 'never  say never', Stellar Kart is a band of 'second chances'.

No-one hurts you more that the one you love.
And then you have to make the discision.
Ending it or giving a second chance.

If Jamie would be asking a second chance, I really wouldn't know what to say.
I'd really want to say yes, but would I be able to trust him again?
Would I be able to believe what he says?

I can't tell you the answer.
I guess it depends on what happens.

Maybe you guys can give me your answer...

To Sky.
Just remember you're not alone.

wrath of a bullying victim

Hey peeps,

heavy subject today.
Yes, I believe the tide has turned.
Maybe not... but at least I'm going to try to keep my mouth shut about the 'heartbroken bullshit'.

So today: bullying.

The last few day the media-air has been buzzing with that topic.
Why? Someone got bullied. Her bullies filmed the whole charade and the video ended up on facebook.

The girl who did the bullying got suspended from school.
But that's not all. What started as a "stop bullying"-campaign is now a total hate-campaign against the 'convict'.

Someone I know made the analogy with KONY, and how it probably won't have much effect on the actual bullying in the future.

I thing he has a point. How are we going to help the victims with online hate-campaigns?
I'm not picking the bully's side, but when we react like that, with hate, than what makes us any better than that bully we try so hard to undermine?

I believe that if we really want to do something about it, we should act for real, stand up for those who can't. Just saying we hate the bully isn't going to do any good. If it means anything i think it's only making things worse...

If I was a bully and the one I harassed did something like that, starting a national hatred against me, I'd be furious and I'd want to make them pay. Not that I am a bully, not even close!

So that's my point of view. What's yours?

xoxo