summer break, alter ego's, drawings and a shout out

Okay...

I guess I've been out of the running for a while now...
I know I promised some new stuff at the beginning of the summer break... but there hasn't been a real break...
I haven't been able to do anything but studying for like the past two... no three months...
probably even longer.
You already guessed what's going on?
Yes!! I have to re-take some of my exams... Smarty pants.

I tried to find out how many people actually are suffering with me... but internet failed me...

- Boohoo you internet! I thought we were friends! But no!!! You are a first class backstabbing bitch that bails out on you when you need some serious answers... -

sorry guys, my sincere apologies.
My bitchy alter ego came popping up for a sec. I really tried to contain her (- uh, so not!)
but she got the upper hand

So... I didn't got any numbers

- told you, it's a backstabbing bitch! - 

keep quiet!
Okay, back to business...
But the are many of us... So I'd say 'good luck to everyone'.

Also... I've got a couple of new drawings... and  I'm going to try to post them tomorrow.

- Promised? -

No, I'm not promising anything! I said "I'm going to try". Get it? Now get the hell out of here!

Sorry guys, again, she seems quite persistent.

So like I said, I'm going to try to put them online tomorrow. Please don't shoot me if I don't succeed.

And to finish up... something different for once... a shout out. 

This time I just like to mention a couple of people.

I'm really greatful just for knowing them... 

and with this opportunity I'd just like to telle them I miss them.

My girls, Mia and Brooke, my boys: Wade and Jake, and a special one for Jamie.

So that's going to be it for today...
I'm not going to wait as long as I did now to post another blog, and that's something I do promise, so... see you soon!!!!

Jamie, sunset and the ice cream doggy

Hya people.

I believe it's time to give you a bit of an update on how things went so far.
With Jamie (the boy I talked about in my last blog) and everything went perfect.
I guess all the freaking out wasn't necessary. Not even a little bit.
The weekend he came over was just great. He got to know one of my best friends (a.k.a. Mia),
He took me for a walk on the beach and we ended up enjoying the sunset together.

When we went for an ice cream there was this dog...
Quite like the one on the picture, but bigger.
He tried to lick me all over. He started to sniff Jamie's shoes, but then switched to licking my toes. His boss took him back under the table but he came back. This time licking my ankle. I pushed him back... but like most boys (:p) he tried a third time. He went directly licking above my knee and if his boss hadn't pulled him off of me I bet he'd gone up even more.
Crazy doggy!!

Back to Jamie...
So it was a really nice weekend. Three p.m. came way too soon to me.
He actually got under my skin and now I'm afraid of what would happen if this ends up blowing up in my face... I don't think I"d be able to keep myself together any longer.
(FYI. No we're not a couple (yet?).)

Let's say I had the best time with him.

So I guess I got you guys a bit up to date after a long period of silence.
By the way... if there are any topics you'd like me to write about... just put them in a comment. I'll do whatever I can to make sure I reach up to your expectations.

Olive you all.

PS.
To Jamie, with love:
you're great and don't ever doubt yourself,
because you're perfect just the way you are, in every single way.

How fucked up someone can be

How do you know if you are really in love with someone or if you’re only in love with the idea of the relationship it could be? Can you actually be in love, truly in love with someone you’ve never even met for real?

It’s been 2 years, 3 months and 24 days since my last relationship ended…
Three days more since the last hug or kiss in a boyfriend-girlfriend kind of way.
That’s 72.835.200 seconds since the last time.
(I could tell you how many minutes or hours that are as well, but that would become quite boring.)
That’s a very long time… and my body is telling me it’s too long.

But instead of helping me, my body makes me jump on every little maybe someone gives me. Even just being friendly makes me going all over the top.

And now there’s this someone I’ve met online. We’ve been chatting for months now, even with webcams and everything. He’s telling me he’s in love with me and I definitely feel something, but I don’t know what. Am I in love with him? Am I in love with the feeling he gives me? Am I only in love with the idea of not being single anymore? Or is it just my mind that’s playing freaking tricks on me? 

What do you know about me? Do you know what my favourite colour is? What kind of food I like? If I like sports? Which sports? What kind of personality do I have? What kind of studies I’m doing? Do you know I’ve spent my past in hospitals every so often or why it was like that? 

Same goes in the other direction. I really don’t know that much about you. I know you love playing the guitar, although I still don’t understand why you quit the band you obviously loved so much. I know you’re really tall and you have a sister, but facebook told me that, not you.
Do you like sports? Do you have any hobby’s besides playing your music? (Do I have any?)
Why are you so insecure about me liking you? Liking, not loving, no accident. (Do you even know I am probably even more insecure then you are, but I just stopped showing it because people were so cruel to me?)

There are so many doubts and questions in my mind and I’m quite freaked out by the speed of how you’re taking me down. You're talking about sleeping together and everything, but you still have no clue how my voice sounds like. (Just to give an examle.) It's going way to fast, way to deep and I'm just so afraid I'm going to end up breaking your heart just because of that.
That's probably the only thing I've learned from my ex-lovers... how to crush a heart.

This song probably tells that story very well...

A friend wrote something on his blog recently...

“You know, maybe if you just relaxed for half a second, and stopped looking so hard for the appropriate life mate, then you might wake up one morning next to one.” (D.H.)

And maybe that’s my problem. No-one has ever gotten in my bed. No-one has ever even reached to the step of getting into my pants. Not that they didn’t wanted… I just couldn’t.

Anyway... I have to choose between what my mind says and what I THINK my heart is saying.
Either way... my mind has fucked me up pretty well... I guess a really rough past is to blame.
And I thought writing it all down would give me a hint... but I still have absolutely no clue.

This ain't going to work. I've got an exam tomorrow so I'm going to shut this thing called a computer down..

Love you all.

some thoughts, the shore and new stuff

stupid enough
to believe
the chains around my heart
were loosening up...
Even if they were...
Now they're back
as tight as before

I promised myself
to follow my head
this time
and not to fall
in love with you
Guess my heart
thought otherwise...

J.D.

Hya people,
We're doing it different today. I guess you already noticed, since I've started with some thoughts of mine...
For once I'd really like to know why my heart always chooses the very opposite direction of my mind...


It's the last day of school. Tomorrow morning it's fulltime 'studying and exams' for 5 weeks.
I really can't wait till they're over.
Not only because of the fact studying isn't far from fun, but most importantly... right after my last exam I'm taking of to the shore for a couple of days!! It's going to be my small piece of heaven. No parents, no school, no common stuff. Just me, the shore and everything I love. (Told you: small piece of heaven)

Maybe it will even be a moment to figure out which way my heart's going to take.


Something else...
This is what kept me busy lately...
Yes, that's me. Watch the ears..
I did some research... and it seems that this kind of earring is similar to the whole clean teen-thing (referring to One tree hill, for those who watch the series) and the promiscuity rings in America.

(Forgot to mention Delphine... that's the girl who got me in touch with those earrings. Thanks D.!!
For those who are interested, this is her link:
http://myplekopdieweb.blogspot.com/ )

The meaning of it comes in handy, but in the first place I just think they're cute and really nice.

I'm going to finish up for today.
I know it's short and I know it's been a while, but my exams aren't going to wait for me...

I promise that as soon as the exams are over you'll get much more to read.
Olive you all!!!

hectic times and missing people

Hya guys,

I know it's been a while, but since the exams are getting close the hectic feeling has only grown worse. Term papers, presentations, studying, ... there's almost no time life to take a break once in a while.

But then... there's still Glee and One Tree Hill to enjoy myself once a week.
This week's Glee was awesome, althought the one of last week was even better.

And for One Tree Hill... love the outcome Brooke's actually pregnant, but Chase thought it was Alex who was pregnant. He went all sweet and 'I was going to try-out for the air force but I'm gonna stay with you'. Alex, although I still think Mia rocks, this time Chalex stole my heart this time, forever.

Gonna leave the rest of the spoilers for what they are. Wishing everyone who going through the same hectic school stuff like me the very best with their grades!!!

Olive You
P.S. Alex: I believe I'm missing you... Weird, you're popping up in my head all the time lately. Don't know why. (Not the oth-Alex, but the boy I talked about in my 20/11/2010-blog.)

Sian - the sequel

Short one today.

For all the ones that have actually read the previous blog, it was dedicated to Sian. She had a surfing accident and yesterday the doctors pulled the plug to see if she was able to breathe on her own.

It was truggling, but... she got through!!!
And she might be 'a strong one', I'd say we keep pulling our thoughts together for her.


Special thought for Lianne: I'm not hoping she's going to get through... I'm SAYING she's going to get trough. How much difference when you change one little word... isn't it?

Olive you!!!

Gay people, crappy parents and life support

hya people,

special edition for tonight.
Two of my girls, Lianne and Sian, are holding their breath, for real. (I'm coming back to that later.)
Sian had a really bad surfing accident a couple of weeks ago, and in the meanwhile she also had a life-saving operation.

For the ones that shouldn't already know, Sian and Lianne are a couple.
And here comes also the 'crappy parents'-part...
Sian's parent don't want to have anything to do with her anymore. They don't even care about their doughter being in the hospital in a life and death-involving situation. BECAUSE SHE'S GAY!!! For Pete's sake. That NO reason to abandon your doughter! She might die, you know!!! (Let's hope not.)



Then part three of the whole 'gay people, crappy parents and life support'-thing...
So Sian is on some sort of life support... breathing-machine and so long.
And tonight's really important. They're taking Sian off of the breathing machine... And she has to breathe on her own. So Leanne is holding her breath, hoping Sian takes a breath. Sorry if it seems cruel what I'm saying, but these are just the facts.

Sian is fighting for her life, propably at the very moment I'm posting this blog.
Sian, Lianne...a message from me to you: we're all fighting along with you.

Olive you!!